I am looking at blank document trying to overcome my writer’s block. I have always written without ever having an end plot. It had worked out pretty well for me because once I started to write, the story always self-evolved.
Last year I was trying to write a story and it turned in to fabulous tale which everyone loved. That was my first success and was a completely unintentional one. After that I have written few stories which all were well liked.
Now I cannot write even I line without choking. I do not know why I am suffering from this heart wrenching writer’s block but it is making me feel inadequate.
I do not stand for much and do not have much to show for my one score of life. I never had a big academic achievement, always been a mediocre student. I do not have any skills like sewing, embroidery, cooking or baking. I am just a woman, who is just that.
One thing I do have are dreams, resolutions, ideas and aims. I have always wanted a position of power in civil services that is my dream and aim. I want to help people, bring change. Not small change in lives but in the system. That is what I think about half of the time what will I do if I become a bureaucrat. Other half is spend in imagining different conversions with different people or conversations among the imaginary army of characters I have stored in my head.
Someone who spends so much time in different fragments of their own imagination they should be able to write, right? That is what I thought before I started to write but it is not that easy, not everything that I imagine is coherent or concrete enough to be written.
The thing about imagination is that we can skip many important details and trim it to our liking. Me, personally can never pen down my thoughts completely mainly because they are private fantasies mixed with ideals. So those thoughts are too private,cheesy, inappropriate, secret and mostly nobody’s business to know.
My philosophy is; imagination is gift, it is place we can escape to relax and release all our worries without any effort. The day your imagination fails you, you are in big trouble. And am in big trouble.