Feelings

Forgiveness

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Make allowances for people, command what is right, and turn away from the ignorant. (Surat Al-A‘raf, 199)

Forgiveness. We find it so impossible to forgive and even harder to forget. There is so much good in this world. So much good in people so much that people do for you that makes them deserving for genuine smile by you if nothing else. We find it so hard to forgive those who were not even related to us, with whom we never had the chance to meet, chance to talk to. Chance to know. What gives us the authority on their personal choices? What gives us authority to judge them for things they said or did or lived things which we did not affect us. Remember the people by the good they did for you. The people who listened to you and did not judge even though you did quiet questionable things, even I you are not friends with them anymore. People who spent hours and days with you, who saved something for you, you forgot behind. It’s alright you and them don’t think the same. When I turn back there is a list of people who I don’t talk to anymore. Some who hurt me, some who moved on, who changed, some who made some mean choices. Does all that make them bad people? One has to remember not always we make the best choices, sometimes we do things unconsciously that might hurt someone else. All of us do it, we are humans, we make so many mistakes, we all need to forgiveness, we all want acceptance, we seek forgiveness at some level. We all are sinners, big ones. Do onto others what you want done onto you. So next time you point finger at a person dead or alive, holding them to be judged for what they did or said. Remember you might have done something worse, only difference is that you don’t have a mob judging you. You as Individual or as group of people don’t have the authority to judge or forgive or spew hate. Everyone is responsible for their actions, so am I and so are you. So be nice, with everyone, or silent if niceness comes hard in that situation, even though you are judging them in your heart, try to keep it that way. Life for you and for all people all around you will be so much be easier. Things are so hateful, virtual wars and hate matches the standard of violence like none before, so it would be one drop less in the ocean of unasked prejudice if we don’t contribute.

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The Malleable Heart

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Yesterday I was reading an article, or more like just a headline and the internet trolls had made a feast out of it. Pakistan dissing, cursing and just your regular internet trolling. They somehow manage to find all that is wrong with country while artfully forgetting they are the root of the problem. Such posts are everyday occurrence they can sour one’s mood like vinegar curdles the milk.

Then today I saw a post about some guy buying his cabbie McDonald’s, because he wanted a snack and did not feel right eating by himself when he had another man next to him.

Yeah we are an economic disaster. And not the most morally sound society but when you see, just tiny gestures like this happening, they give you such a warm feeling that you just want to high-five that person and tell him/her it was not just a kind thing they did because they did not feed a starving man or help out a jobless man. They just gave somebody with less fortunate economic conditions, their due respect which so many of us forget to do everyday.

To all those people who thank their help or by gesture show them that they are not just the serving class but an integral part of society without which quiet frankly we can’t really function. I give you a standing ovation. Because people like you make me feel good. Even though I have no part in your act it still does.

‘Image by Artist Kate Powell’

 

the world bleeds

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Its a beautiful day, as it is Saturday i decided to pick up the newspaper and sit under the flower tree and read the newspaper. As i flipped through the articles. I concluded we are a dying world. And someway along the way we all have either decide its okay or simply we believe in miracles or star wars. But does that somehow justify our dying morals and values?

I don’t understand how the lens don’t break when capturing the moments of extreme pain of human kind. When it captures the rubbles which were once protection against the environment. It does not break, when fathers and protectors succumb to tears. the lens does not break when mothers and shields go frantic and lose sight of their charge. the lens does not break when a child and innocence instead of learning to play is pushed to the hone their animal instinct to identify food and eat. But the lens does n0t break, the lens goes home it produces hundred thousand dollar worth of portrait. We see it, we it again and again and we feels sorry till we know the story and we don’t need to read it again. We convince ourselves that they did something to deserve to be posted in most vulnerable moments of their lives.

I go back to drinking my tea, enjoying cool breeze on my skin, the lack of sun and cloud cover. I read little more and then I just think do those people feel breeze like I do, do they stop when they smell summer flowers. Do they have summer flowers? Do they stick their nose to the window smelling rain on soil. Do they have windows? My heart does not break, tears don’t come to my eyes. This is the moment i realize why the lens don’t break. Life is a wonderful thing it builds immunities to everything that it survives, eventually, maybe a little too well. It can’t break its heart with every vicious act and neither can I.  So I put away the newspaper, and lean back marveling the evening.

Tamasha the movie:”My personalized movie review”

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The thing about imagination is that it is incoherent. There is more visual approach to our imagination littered with junk of real life and stories and dreams and what we make up. Imagination is a beautiful thing. A crazy thing, a vivid thing. A thing that we need to make it through the day. Tamasha is a story of man who makes stories of stories. Who lives a story who is a story within himself.
We are two people, one is the person who we see ourselves to be, not really see but more like its the narrator of our brains. It how we think and respond to things the conversation we have with ourselves, the conversation we would have with people we are never going to meet.the things we want to say but never do. The conversation we have have with dead writers and kings and historians. The past that we imagine in our head. The picture of the different worlds and eras dinted with colors of what we know about things and what we think about things. Its a play in our heads, a play where there are similar faced character playing thousand different roles in thousand differnt scenarios. Juliet, laila, heer, sassi or any other heroine of a folk tale. The tale remains the same the place changes. Is not that a living proof of that we have same characters in our head but like hundreds of different scenarios the same story can play out. That’s Tamasha. Running the fine line between who we are in front of the world and who we are in empty house by ourselves. When you start talking loudly to people in your head when Ginn is out of the box, when sword is unseathed, when sun is covered by grey, when cherry blossoms bloom in Rawalpindi when possibility is just conjuring of  a thought away.
Tamsha is a lovestory but its more then that it a story of our deepest desire to know someone who sees us. Who really see the story we are part of. The story we made up. The story that even if put in a novel or movie or series would never be enough. Because in our stories we just can not be one thing. We have to be everything, every character we fall in love with, every era we live through. One novel can just not hold all that. A series of novels cant hold all that. People will never understand why the person who looked like a american teenager in last novel is now twenty something pakistani woman in this one and bella swan’s twin sister in third or a witch in age of Joan of arc or a warrior in ranks of mongols or a princess in mongols. It does not matter who and what your name is you are part of a story. But if you meet a person who see’s your point. Who can actually keep up with the fact that bella swan’s has a twin sister and that girl could easily be a Pakistani girl. Then your world falls out of balance. We had a god thing going this world and i. There was me and people inside of me. It was alright we were in a good place. Then someone sees all of us. My secret is out. They see me as one of them not as a normal person. Balance of my world rests upon this secret. The secret is out means they are out as they are the secret and then they take over, they are angry at me for hiding them for so long for lying to them that no one can see us but when that person see’s us that means there is something in this world some place where it is okay to have people inside you. They might not be real and may not be seen but that does not mean they dont exist and that they are not there.
Tamasha was perfect, i dont know how they did it but it was perfect. Not all of us have same imagination not same agaitation but there is this ismorphism between all of us imaginative lackeys the fine line between what we are and who we are. I loved the movie i smiled all through it. If you dont understand what they were talking about its alright. Its not your fault. One can not miss something they never had. One can never love something they never felt for. One can most definitely not understand someting they dont have any experiance of. Ranbir kapoor, i am no fan, but that man is one man show, everywhere else is just there to asist him. Depika Padukone is most natural actress. All in all i would not recommend. But i could relate to everything in this movie.

Conditional Equity

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Its 12th of December and we are 4 days away from the 1st anniversary of one of the  most tragic incidents happened on civilian population “not in war zone” in this decade.

Around 140  and more children were killed in brutal shooting whose coverage in international media to be honest was non existent. Because lets face it nobody cares when Muslim dies even if they are kids and they even careless if they are in Pakistan because these kids according to the western microscope are potential terrorists.

People keep on posting please don’t compare Paris attack to the APS Peshawar attack . I did not last month but i will today. Lets compare every single inch. Paris attack has been talked and condemned by every single president on every single platform. Twitter was choked with hatred and radicalism by seemingly “enlightened and better” western counterparts who thought exterminating 1.57 billion Muslims was solution of their problems.

People in Paris attack were traced, their stories found and published their friends family shown mourning. Their dreams, hopes, careers explained to pain stalking details to show the pain and loss of their lives and to denounce the method of their death.

What about the kids who died in APS attacks? they were of ages 14 to 16 their graduation from school only few months away .They were kids deciding which university they were going to go to what career they will choose. They were at brink of new beginnings. What about their pain their stories those parents who will never see their sons again those mothers who tended them through sickness, injured knees and elbows to the point they were now able to take care of themselves. They would never know what it would have been like to see their years of hard work and nourishing excel and grow.

Does anyone even ask about those father who have been fighting real war of terrorism in FATA for more then a year defending their borders their country, their country men  and minimizing the threat of terrorism for the rest of world from that particular area, what they felt when they knew that their own kids have been murdered in the most ruthless manner known? It tears me up every time to think about those fathers who were defending humanity fighting the good war but could not save their own kids? What about them? What about their pain? their loss? What about them!!

What about the kids who survived that attack? What do they feel going back to school when their friends are dead? What do those parents feel when thy see their sons which were returned from the mouth of death walk out of the door? Someone so young should not have to deal with that. they should not have to be covered in the blood of their friends they should not have to go through that.

Yeah that is right their is no comparison between APS attack Peshawar and Paris attack their is just no comparison between the situation and what a show of inequality, arrogance, disproportion and disrespect the APS attack martyrs and survivors were handled with just no comparison.

Yesterday was Friday, we Muslims consider it to be a holy day of the week. The day most people try to make to the Namaz Jumma (prayer performed by men in Masjid in afternoon). There was a fire bomb in a Mosque in California,  that news did not even make the top five headlines of MSN news which due to my browser i am follow on regular basis. The news that was present told less about the fire bomb and more about the shooting that happened in San Bernardino.

So the message here for every one including me is from the whole situation ” Every time there will be an attack of violence against Muslims it will be pushed under covers while indirectly making it look like it can be on a level be justified or even glorified by some  as a reaction of the San Bernardino shooting or Paris Attacks or some other act of terrorism .The people who are not Muslim matter more then those are Muslim. Hammer that in you heads already. “

There is no such thing as equality there is no such thing as respect tolerance or whatever the synonym to those words are and used. I am just sad that I would have to live in this intolerant world and that my family will be in this intolerant world. The way things are these  days makes me want to shrivel up inside my self.

What a tragedy we are what a tragedy humanity is in all its scientific progress and glory its modernization and liberalization is proving to be. Makes one wonder the point of progress. What ever that is.

 

 

Lets talk about our I’s and isms.

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I am so bloody angry. I feel like am I am going to suffocate under all the hate that we have for each other in this country. I don’t know where the idea of Pakistan went so damn wrong. We might as well just nuke each other off. Its not we are doing anything with our “atomic” abilities any way .

First there are our “I’s” Pathan, Pashtun ( mind the difference) Punjabi, Sindi, Balochi, once upon time there were Bengali but now they have their own country.

I have seen more tolerance in street dogs when a another wanders in their territory than I have seen in most Pakistani’s for one another. Every single one of us is convinced that they have got it right. “12 kitabain parhta hai aur Aalim ban jata hai saray paraha likha jahil”.

The division in Pakistan is far more complex than most complex chemical formula. We just don’t have a sectarian problem in this country if we only had the sectarian problem life will be half less complicated than it is at the moment. We have a theism and atheism problem. We have liberal and conservative problem. We have a problem with the rich and we have problem with poor. We have a problem with elite culture and we have problem with middle class culture. We have problem with army and there are the ones who happen to worship it. We are democracy lovers and what we love more is making it fail. We have an obsession with freedom what we can not seem to get is freedom does not mean a license to act like wayward imbeciles. Then we have a problem how people dress, women who wear burqa or do niqab are “fundos” and who wear jeans and tees are “baegairat”. The “modern educated class” call the people with beards “taliban” or “harbourers of taliban” either as joke or seriously .You freaking assholes that is insulting! You do know that your Prophet(S.A.W) had a beard? Even Hazrat Issa (A.s) or Jesus Christ had one!

The other class call them moulvis or hajjis either as joke or so seriously that they think these people might be personification of angels (that is a exaggeration but lower income class trust in people with beard is quiet misled) and leads to things which are too shameful and screwed up to even imagine.

Then comes the “-isms” bane of our lives. There is Wahhabism, Sunnism, Shi’ism’, Barelvism, Ahle-hadith, Isma’ilism, these are the ones I know. Not to mention few whose correct spellings I am unaware of or am forgetting them. Honestly there is just not enough land to give everyone their own separate state.

But then came the educated class who love to talk about things they don’t really face. Some how we love our stereotypes. Extremist exist everywhere, in every single kind of sect, ethnicity and culture or what ever separation you happen to believe in. lets not even mention the role of electronic media whose sole job is to provide the news that really does not exist or to blow things out of proportion to a scale that out smarts most of the showbiz tabloids.

In our country the new popular culture and favorite status update seems to be of bashing religious people. On other hand we have the ones who happen to think “facebook” and “twitter” are the platforms to preach religion.

Seriously people wake up thanks to you all we have “Sunni-Islam” and “Shia-Islam”.

Here is a hint for everyone whatever you say won’t change the thoughts people who are prone to think you are a infidel. “itna naaike ka bacha hota na tum saab, tu facebook pa status upload karna wala halaat nae hota”.

So in good nice words get over your self and stop wagging your tongues on each and every incident and stop giving them shape they don’t really have. “khala ka ghar tum logo ka?” Freedom of speech ki maa behan aik kar ka rakh dye hai tum logo na.

There are things you say among friends. That is voicing of unformed ideas. That is thinking brainstorming. Printing your brainstorming for the world to see is really ridiculous. And more over they come off not liberal or cool but as naïve and prejudiced. You are not young enough to come off naïve and not old enough to be forgiven for your prejudices. Imagine every writer starts publishing his or hers first idea of novel? that would suck wont it. Even if it was Tolkein or Rowling or Grisham or who ever. You are neither of those people so imagine how much you suck.

Next time you feel like bashing anyone by that I mean anyone (excluding ISIS only people who no one have enough words to describe) just think that some one is dumping a bucket full of rotten eggs on you. The smell is disgusting just like your words who hurt people who feel insulted by them when they are being blamed for things they never did and never even thought. You with your “honest saying” and “so called truth” are brewing same hate and intolerance which is done by ISIS rockets and AK47s.

This post is for all the wanna be revolutionaries and liberals and free thinkers and smart people and conservatives who think social websites are perfect place for verbal vomits. Congrats facebook and twitter activists and the flag bearers of truth you have out done yourselves once again.